Happy Men's Health Month!
We know it is already half over but we did not want to ignore it like some of us men ignore our own health issues. Why is that? Why does it feel like we have to nag the men important to us to get on top of their health issues?
Is it stubbornness? Is it lack of care? Or lack of time?
Even though those may seem like the issue, in reality it is likely something else entirely.
Men like to have some sort of control in their own life and sometimes these health issues can feel like a loss of control. They need help when they do not want to admit vulnerability.
Men like to see themselves and be seen as strong and invincible FOR their family. When health issues come up it is a chink in that armor and admitting it can sometimes feel like admitting a weakness.
Men also like to know they are doing the right thing. In a sea of healthcare providers and information, it can be easy to think they have the right information and be completely wrong. It is easy to go to 2 different providers and get 2 recommendations. This uncertainty adds to the feeling of weakness as well as causes a pause in action or paralysis by analysis.
So what can we do about it?
Understandably, it is hard to find time for deep conversations but for this we need to MAKE time for someone we really care about.
Discussing different options for care, being supportive of decisions, helping with research, expressing concern, and providing them with love and care despite their perceived weakness.
It is also important to use that time to get to a rock solid WHY. Finding what makes them work hard at work or around the house, what makes them make time for their hobbies or to be with family. Finding that why and setting short, medium and long term goals that align with that why is crucial!
Last, get them to find accountability. Asking them or check ins dictated by you will not be a good enough driver. They need to set their own accountability and how it is done (even if it does involve you) because they know how they will respond to things. Some ideas are regular meetings, written notes on a mirror or somewhere that is seen daily, phone alarms or reminders, or benchmark rewards.
We all have a man we love and care for be it a husband, a father, a brother or friend. Let's show them we care and have a meaningful conversation that expresses our concerns but ultimately asks a lot of questions about their concerns, views, and ideas on how to address it.